Horrible life, horrible nightmare

Horrible life, horrible nightmare
Heey! i have a big news for all of you!
I QUIT SMOCKING!!!!... and i HATE IT !

i Sooo want a smoke! i would be so f-ing great! and i'm sooo stressed right now because like 2 people died this week and whell, i don't realy know them but it affects my friends so i'm feeling verry horrible and I was the person that announced one of the death to one of them my friends, she freaked but she did not show it. I also had this dream about my grandmother dying. it looked sooo realistic! i cryed for bout 5 hole long minutes after I woke up... it's horrible!

and then, my friend's boyfriend is beeing an ass with her and i realy hate him for that... like the girl is asome and she dosen't deserve all that shit from him. I thought he waz nice but he can be such an ass!

XD :P ----> I don't know y but with all that shit happening around me i'm able to stay happy!... or t'ill i explode but i don't know about that....

and kuz i don't have smokes, I CAN'T STOP EATING! ergh! i HATE IT ! i'm gaining waitght! argh!
and I'm totally into that guy but he has a Girlfriend!

it's realy pissing me off though kuz i just felt this way for someone once before and i was in love with the guy for 4 fucking ears and i know, that's pitifull but i can't help it so, whel i hope that i never see him again (the guy i love right now) because it realy hurts... even though i added him on facebook and took pics of his pics... i'm not a stalker right?

I don't mean to be... but i'm not following him all the time and looking at what he dose 24/7 so, w/e...

so i gess i'll just give up on boys... no, i'm not gowing for girls, i'm just gonna become a nun or something.
...lmao, hehe, me, a nun? wtf? I'll just put it like giving up on love. yeah, that's more like it!

and on top of it all, my friend called me yasterday SUPER depressed because of his fucked up parents.
i could not cheer him up!

...w/e, i saw him 2day and he was all fine...

The scary part is that i'm gowing to london in 5 days (YUPPY!) and with all that shit that happened, i realy hope that the plain won't crash... i think it will but with all those things, i've accepted death so i'm ready for it if it comes to me... i won't go to him though... theres just to much nice things in life to whaste it like that....

but if the plain crashes i gess i'll cut my wrists open and hope i'll dye of a loss of blood instead of drowned... i think that it's the worst death possible...

Ohh, i also have one of my friends who can't choose if she hates me or not but if she dose "it's for my own good" so now i'm all stressed about that, wondering if tomorow she'll hate me or not and w/e...

But the worst part of all is that a part of me likes feeling down like that...

lol, the reason to y i created this post waz to say how after i wread :"The way i think... when i`m ded... whel kinda... wtf! i`m not dead! actually i`m pretty mutch alive right now... :D " (4 posts lower then this one) i felt like i'm gonna die if i don't get a smoke... it's the worst thing ever, no one should start! and no one should feel how it feels when you quit.

...except for me... because then no one else would feel it...
yup, whel, w/e

May the souls that left their body and that left our physiqual world float away to the land of joy...
RIP
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# Posted on Tuesday, 10 March 2009 at 11:27 PM

Hear it, Smell it, touch it, lick it

Close your eyes
Listen to the music
Let it guide you
Can't your hear the screams
Of your wonderful victim
While she's dying

Walk to it
Touch her chin
Touch her waist
Feel the blade
She's suddenly quiet
You must create the music

You've heard a noise
It's not part of it
You've got visitors
Or just other instruments

You turn around
And lick her blood
You wish for more
But walk away
Kuz they hate the sound
And hide in the shadows

When the shadows turn to light
They shoot at you
Trying to stop you
But they're falling
Because it's just funny
And kuz you want more

You start laughing kuz it's on play
You can hear it, you can smell it, you can touch It, you can drink it,
Forever, I want more
I want more

Turned to black, see the light
I'm free can't you see?
Noo, you don't know
No one knows
But I want more!
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# Posted on Sunday, 08 March 2009 at 8:55 PM

Yellow!

Hey, i got this comment critisising me, saying that this blog sucks and that it's not all emo that hurt themselfs.

Whel, i just want to say that if you don't like this blog, you can just click a simple button and you'r gowing to be on an other page, you don't have to bitch at me and

I KNOW that NOT all emo hurt/cut themselfs, like WTF!?! I never said such thing, i said that i like a pic where this girl made a hole through her lip with a needle and that you guys allready knuw that (i loved tha pic).

I NEVER SAID THAT ALL EMO HURT THEMSELFS
like wtf? who's with me?

and you guys all know that i love those kinda pics kuz, whell, it's my style! Duah!

p.s.
I'm an emo kid and NEVER have I inflicted pain on MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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# Posted on Monday, 23 February 2009 at 8:25 PM

The way i think... when i`m ded... whel kinda... wtf! i`m not dead! actually i`m pretty mutch alive right now... :D

Heey heey!!!

Sup!
I`m at my friend's house right now and i escaped the bordness of tierdness by visiting INTERNET! (stupid crappy annoying music sound playing while u reed the word internet)

... yes, i know, that waz lame... i brobabely just wrote it kuz of all my bordness and lame, verrrrrrry lame tierdness...

annywase

Go reed the fallowing blog and tell me if it sounds like santa clauss trying 2 kill himself, plz! i NEED to know!
... it`s kuz my friends think that it is and i don`t think so... like c`mon! it`s clear that it`s me begging for a smoke! seriously!

... kk, fine, that waz not serious but steel... i tryed 2 stop and that`s what happened... talking about stopping, i dunno how i`ll live during summer.... i`ll probabely die... like i get my smokes from school but when that`s over... like it`s not like if i looked old enough 2 buy sum myself!...

Damn that youngness... yes iknow, i luv 2 add "ness" at the end of words....

whel, at least i`ll look young when i`ll be old and up sleeping with a 30year old man when i'll be 50!

...eeehhh! noooo! that`s discusting!
... yeah, when i thing, i thing about all possible possibilities... eeehh!!

whel, my mom just came and want`s me 2 leave so, DAMN the time man! damn the time...

whel, NIRVANA ROCKS! ... and don`t 4 get 2 tell me about the santa thing... plz....

whel... (moment with out thinking... it probabely lasted... like... 25 sec... ) good bye then... i`ll see u again... maby... hoping u left a coment... luv you!...


...

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DAMN my feets r cold!
...i`m gonna put socks on...
# Posted on Saturday, 17 January 2009 at 11:42 PM

Grumper

Grumper
You'll probabely not get it but yes there is a meaning to this song that i wrote, XD

Grumper

Came thruw the door
dropped a paper
took of the boots
went to the kitchen.

Walked in watter
found a pencil
drew a man
took of wet socks

Give me a cookie
old lady is hungry
guive me the gun
but keep the bulets
keep the bulets
keep the bulets
Keep the bulets
keep the bulets
listen to the bird
hand some grapes
bit it off
bit it off
live it there
you don't care

Open the window
exhale quickly
it's not working
Lets not worry

walk away
trip on a rock
open the lighter
i feel better.

Give me a cookie
old lady is hungry
guive me the gun
but keep the bulets
keep the bulets
keep the bulets
Keep the bulets
keep the bulets
listen to the bird
hand some grapes
bit it off
bit it off
live it there
you don't care

[end]

So yeah. . . that's what happen when i try 2 stope smokin'
XD


and HAPPY HOLLYDAYS PEOPLE!!!!!

# Posted on Friday, 02 January 2009 at 5:28 PM